Home > Our Cancer Journey > Caught off Guard

Caught off Guard

When faced with the possibility of a worst-case scenario diagnosis, it has been the small things that have caught me off guard, bringing tears welling up in my eyes at unexpected moments… .

Squares and Dots Anniversary Card

Image by Flora Powell via Flickr

We spent out 26th wedding anniversary in the hospital and managed to keep upbeat about it. Spending an entire day with my hubby — even if confined to a hospital room — was still a good thing. We laughed over my somewhat less than romantic anniversary gift to him of pajamas. He had requested them — but they were bought and delivered to me for him! They were definitely a great improvement on the standard issue hospital gown!

We did a good job of making our anniversary dinner in the hospital sound much better than it should by reminding ourselves that we were having room service for this anniversary. We were making the most of less than ideal circumstances.

It was looking for an anniversary card in the hospital lobby gift shop that was my “caught off guard” moment.  Thankful that they even had anniversary cards in the gift shop I proceeded to open and read them.

Picking up the first card, I read it, the wording making the presumption that we would be together for the next twenty years. Faced as I was at that moment with an uncertain diagnosis that could shorten those years substantially, reading those words brought tears to my eyes.

Blinking back the tears, I picked up the next card. It was even more sentimental of the bright many years we had before us. More tears blurred my vision. Taking a deep breath, I removed my glasses and tried to discreetly wipe the tears from my eyes before picking up another card.

Lord, there has to be some card here that I can give my hubby without bursting into tears! 

I finally did find a card that stated all Matt meant to me without bringing up a questionable future. A card I could give as we lived in the moment, waiting for God to reveal His future plan for our lives. God must have pre-ordered that card just for me.

Categories: Our Cancer Journey
  1. January 10, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    >hi Rosie, please know we pray for you and Matt daily. I don't have any words of wisdom for you except that I know deep down that God does all things well and while it doesn't make sense here, one day, we will understand it all. May the God of all comfort hold you both in HIS arms during these difficult times.

  2. January 10, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    >Hi Rosie & Matt,We're so sorry to hear that you, too, are going to have to go through the Valley of the Shadow, with all its uncertainty of the future and the dreaded treatments. But, the Lord told me when I was going through it, to "Look Beyond!" This time is just for a season – there is a better life to come, whether here or there, and He will sustain you through this. Keeping you in our prayers!

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